Michael McLean Music

January24th

1 Comment

My headache started coming on late morning and by mid-afternoon it was threatening to rob the day of any realistic hope for finding an authentic happiness. Feeling lousy can do that to the most dedicated M2B:)  missionary.    Hurt bad enough and all you can focus on is escaping the pain until it either stops on its own or some remedy makes it disappear.   I am so grateful no one  asked me how my M2B:) was going at, say, quarter to three this afternoon. I’m afraid I’d have actually told them and it wouldn’t have been something I’d want repeated….ever.  But I avoided any such queries and took a couple of aspirin and laid down and waited for relief.

It didn’t take all that long for me to start feeling better.  And just having the suffering over was a happy and grateful moment for me.  But while I now acknowledge my happy good fortune, I can’t help but think of those who struggle to manage the pain they suffer every day of their lives, and how difficult their journey is.  I wish there was a song I could write to make their pain go away.  I know it doesn’t work like that, but since I’m better off now than I was this afternoon, I want to offer one of my older song’s lyrics that I offer from my heart to yours today.

IT WOULD BE CRAZY FOR ME TO EVEN TRY TO PRETEND THAT I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE GOING THROUGH. AND I HAVEN’T FOUND ANSWERS THAT MAKE SENSE TO ME SO I DON’T HAVE AN ANSWER FOR YOU. BUT I WANT TO SAY SOMETHING THAT SHOWS THAT I CARE AND I WISH I COULD DO SOME GOOD. BUT I CAN’T COMPREHEND ALL THAT YOU’RE FEELING NOW BUT I LOVE YOU AND WISH I COULD….

I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY THIS EVER HAD TO HAPPEN TO YOU                                 I DON’T UNDERSTAND, SO I DON’T KNOW HOW TO HELP YOU GET THROUGH    ITS SUCH A MYSTERY WHY THIS HAPPENED TO YOU AND NOT TO ME                        I KNOW THAT THERE IS A PLAN AND THAT WE’RE TESTED BUT THIS DOESN’T SEEM FAIR, I DON’T UNDERSTAND SO I DON’T KNOW HOW TO SAY DON’T DESPAIR. I’M JUST HOPING THAT YOU WILL SEE THAT I’M SAYING THAT I CARE, THAT I WANT TO BE RIGHT THERE, BECAUSE I UNDERSTAND ONE THING ETERNALLY…AND THAT’S HOW MUCH YOU’LL ALWAYS MEAN TO ME.

My happiness moments today were these: Relief that my short lived pain subsided  AND knowing that I sincerely want so much to be able to take what ever happiness I’ve been granted, even if it’s brief, and send some of it to your way if you’re hurting. I’m happy that I genuinely am able to feel that way.   And though I know I’m not the healer, and my songs can’t remove the pain, I’m happy to say that I truly believe with all my heart that the Great Healer of All Wounds has not forgotten you, and if any of my songs can point to that truth, that’ll be enough for me.

1 Comment

  • Comment by Lecia Crider — January 26, 2010 @ 9:24 pm

    Thanks for this post, it hit really close to home. My husband has suffered from daily, chronic headaches for the past 15 years, and it is a big part of our whole family’s life. Still, even though his chronic illness seems to make my life more difficult much of the time, I need to be careful to remember that it is much harder for him, and your post was a good reminder of that.

RSS feed for comments on this post.

Leave a comment

RSS