Bucky’s 4…well, tomorrow is the actual day, but the party was this afternoon.  He’s four.  Boy, is he EVER a four year old!!! And I LOVE it!!  I loved him the second he joined the family, and I love him more today.  I’m so grateful I get to be a grandfather.  Still figuring out how to do it, and probably will keep working on it as Bucky and his little sister Sadie grow up.  But I’m happy with my role as Bucky’s TAPPAW. And I’m happy that the Thomas The Train Cake was sooooooo good.

A decade ago our niece whose family was stationed across the pond came from England to spend part of the summer with us.  She was having a rough go of it (an understatement) and we hoped to give her a break.   I was working on the SAFE HARBORS album at the time and my niece loved music so I arranged for her to sing in some of the back-up choirs.  She did a great job and her spirit seemed its brightest when she was making music.

There’s a song on the album I dedicated to her. The lyrics to the chorus are:   If you could see what I see when I look at you/You would see why dreamers still believe dreams come true/And the vision I’m seeing would change your life too/If you saw what I see in you.

Well, a little over ten years later, and with a great deal of work and faith on her part, she “saw” what so many of us who love her were seeing all along.   Today Lynne and I were blessed to be with her as she went through the temple for the first time.

Took the red eye from LA to KC via Atlanta to be at a rally for a friend fighting City Hall.  Literally.  Wrongfully convicted twelve years ago and thrown in prison his story is the stuff of movies.  When the truth finally came out and the corruption that put him away was revealed he was exonerated, but the quest for justice and accountability continues.

Being there for someone who’s fighting for their constitutional rights is a unique kind of M2B:) moment.  Bittersweet in many ways.  Seeing the abuse of power is painful.  Losing innocence about the way things really are vs. the way they ought to be in the land of the free and the home of the brave is difficult.  But standing by someone who is finding a way to rise above impossible circumstances, refusing to play the victim, and take a stand for what’s right is inspiring.

Writing new songs and trying to remember some old ones.  Too much fun. Getting ready for a string of shows July 30, 31 and August 2nd.  How lucky am I that I still get to do this?

Heard some heartbreaking news today about a tragic accident at a friend’s home.  As I try to process the story and learn a few more details over the next few days, I’ll hopefully find some peace.  We’re all candles flickering in the wind.

My friends Tyler Castleton and Jenny Phillips asked me to share some thoughts at today’s singer/songwriter music workshop in Provo.  It seemed to me there were about two hundred and fifty attending and my first “set” was from 9:50 to 10:30am.  Next came a class on the craft of songwriting that I taught with Tyler, followed by another session called, “where do we go from here?” sharing the podium with Mindy Gledhill.  And then, during lunch there was a bit of a concert and I got to sing three songs of my choosing in between bites of a terrific boxed lunch.

NOTHING WENT THE WAY I PLANNED.  If you read my July 15th post on preparing for this day, you know that my M2B:) moment was organizing my thoughts for this event AND BELIEVE ME, what I planned looked pretty darn good on paper.   But, it wasn’t what wanted to come out of my mouth today.   And I’m glad I let happen what happened because I felt something way more intense and special taking place in those moments with that group of talented and wonderful people than I was able to imagine two days ago.   When this happens I’m sometimes a bit bugged that I spent all that time preparing when things don’t go as planned.  AND YET, I believe that the prep period is probably the reason the other stuff revealed itself during the presentation.  I did my part, and then trusted the moment.   It’s at the very heart of the message of my Mission To Be Happy book and CD.

And even though it’s a strange thing to stand in front of people pretending to know what you’re talking about, it didn’t feel strange today because I wasn’t pretending,  Whatever I said or sang was motivated by a desperate desire to let every person in that room know how important and valuable their art can be.

I’m not sure I’ll ever know how my presentations came across, but I do know how I felt about the things I said:  Felt like a mission to be happy missionary, happy as I could be.

I wore many hats today.  Early this morning my film maker hat was on as we shot, documentary style, an on camera first person telling of a story that moved me to tears.  When people open up and reveal the very depths of their souls it can be an emotionally exhausting experience, not just for the one on camera, but for those on the other side as well.

Next I raced to some marketing meetings and a chance to pitch a new song for an event that potentially could reach a far bigger audience than I have access to.   This hat, sales guy, is one I’ve worn for many years, but after washing it I think it shrunk OR my head’s just gotten too big, so I was a bit uncomfortable wearing it.   But I did my little tap dance and, well, we’ll see how it goes.   I’m just happy and grateful I got to be in the room.

Then I put on my M2B:) performer hat and headed up to Ogden’s Deseret Book store where i set up my sound system and sang my songs and told my stories.  It was a hot day and I was SOOOO grateful the store was cool, and EVER MORE thankful that the Lion House Pantry in that store had chicken salad and those Lion House Rolls.   I’d have driven all the way there just for the deliciousness.   I also got to sing for some great people who made me feel loved and appreciated, and that’s ALWAYS a good thing!!!

Then, my friends at the book store offered me a very berry double crusted pie as a thank you for my coming to their store.  When I got home both my mother and my mother-in-law were in need of some extra TLC after tough days and the pie did the trick.  I was a hero to both my mothers.  After all these years I never knew that the pie-delivery-boy hat was such a crowd pleaser!

The day after tomorrow I’ll be attending a songwriter workshop and I’ve been asked to participate as a presenter, so today I’m trying to organize my thoughts on my journey.  There’s something about preparing for something like this that is generally speaking far more valuable to the presenter than those in the audience…sort of the way teachers often feel about preparing for a lesson they give…and I’m relishing every minute.  I’ll let you know how much of what I’m preparing ends up being presented.  Stay tuned.

Last fall there was a lightening storm and a bolt knocked out the electrical pump that recirculates the water in the pond in front of our house.  Today it was working and I sat on a swing, under some shade trees and let myself feel the rhythm of the water flowing over the rocks.  It was hypnotic.  Unlike the rhythms of a river felt on fishing waders while concentrating on where to make the next cast this was more brook-like.  Gurgling gently and sending a quiet, but reassuring message to the soul.  It’s okay.  Everything’s gonna be okay.

A call to my cell phone broke my trans.  I shouldn’t have picked up.  It was a stressful call and it wasn’t two sentences in to the conversation that I forgot what the pond was telling me.

Only now, as I write this am I fully calmed down.  I’ve opened the windows wide so I can hear the water entering the pond.

Oh yeah, and I turned off my phone.

It was perfect!  Everything worked out just right.  My nephew got to the Ruby River Steakhouse across the street from the soccer stadium early enough to get our reservation in so we of Meggan’s birthday party entourage could have supper before the big show.  As crazy busy as the place was, we ordered, were served and ate with ample time to make it to our seats before the band took the stage.

One of the great things about stadium rock concerts is the video projection systems are remarkable.  From where we were sitting the performers were tiny as ants,  and I had binoculars BUT, when projected on the screens on either side of the stage  Paul McCartney and his band were GODZILLA-sized!!!

But the images of the former Beatle didn’t outsize his talent.  The man of the hour still has “it”.  Not only are his songs alive and well in 2010 but he sounded great as ever.  Don’t know how a guy his age hits those notes but he did and it was pure joy…for the audience, clearly, but it looked like it was pure joy for him as well. I hope so.

I know show people have to learn to fake it sometimes because their job is to give everyone who buys a ticket the best experience possible, but I’m not sure it’s possible to fake what I felt coming from the stage last night. Maybe, but I don’t think so….or should I say I don’t want to think so.  I was having too good of a time myself.

Part of that joy was seeing one of my musical heroes.  Part was from seeing my daughter and her great friend from high school singing along with Paul on all the hits. Part was holding hands with the love of my life.  And part of the joy came from reclaiming some songs I grew up with and finding new meaning in them.  Two in particular:  Let It Be and Get Back (to where you once belong)

Having moved back to Utah after 5 years walking the beaches of So. California both Lynne and I got the message of getting back to where we once belonged…by simply being willing to let it be.

It took forever to get out of the stadium.  Even LONGER to get out of the parking lot.  Didn’t matter.  My M2B:) meter was peaking out.  I was energized, inspired even, and touched by a bucket list memory.

Can’t get the songs out of my head…but that’s okay.  I don’t want to.